The deadline for return from maternity leave was in a weeks time, so it was crunch time. I had ummmed and ahhhhhed enough over the last 3 months as to what I wanted to do. Stretch was supportive on whatever I chose. We are fortunate enough to be in a position where I don't have to work. Things will be tight, don't get me wrong but this family could do with a rewind on the little extras that keep occurring.
I really was torn as to what I wanted to do. I love working. I loved the responsibility and self importance to be honest. I held a prominent position in a Australia wide company. I worked my arse off to get there. I wasn't going to give that up easily. Stretch and I had discussed this previous to me even going on maternity leave. I was staunch in my opinion on going back full time.
Nine months has passed and I have made a complete turn about. I don't want to go back. I want to stay at home and experience all the little things I missed with my first. You see I had returned to work when Miss T was 3 months old and I missed A LOT. I was so focused on bringing home the bacon and providing material bullshit, that I missed major milestones.
I don't want to do that again. I know myself better than anyone, even if I returned part time, my ego and self importance would take over and I would be working 50 hour weeks again in a millisecond.
I am a all or nothing kind of girl. So it's nothing for me. Until, you know school comes around in four years :)
How long this will last? I am not entirely sure. I know I need to do something. My brain needs exercising daily or I get bored and danger approaches when that happens. Study? maybe. Professional online shopper? quite possibly :)
I have watched Peggy over at Cake Crumbs Beach Sand, over the last few months evolve. My god did she inspire. To do what you may ask? LEAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hold a big arse breath and just leap.
I am confident we will be perfectly fine and I will fall into something that works. For this control freak that was a lot to let go. I have.
So my friends, be confident in yourself and just .......