Monday, 25 June 2012

New Beginnings

Do you know what today is? It's my first official day as a SAHM.
The deadline for return from maternity leave was in a weeks time, so it was crunch time. I had ummmed and ahhhhhed enough over the last 3 months as to what I wanted to do. Stretch was supportive on whatever I chose. We are fortunate enough to be in a position where I don't have to work. Things will be tight, don't get me wrong but this family could do with a rewind on the little extras that keep occurring.
I really was torn as to what I wanted to do. I love working. I loved the responsibility and self importance to be honest. I held a prominent position in a Australia wide company. I worked my arse off to get there. I wasn't going to give that up easily. Stretch and I had discussed this previous to me even going on maternity leave. I was staunch in my opinion on going back full time.
Nine months has passed and I have made a complete turn about. I don't want to go back. I want to stay at home and experience all the little things I missed with my first. You see I had returned to work when Miss T was 3 months old and I missed  A LOT. I was so focused on bringing home the bacon and providing material bullshit, that I missed major milestones.
I don't want to do that again. I know myself better than anyone, even if I returned part time, my ego and self importance would take over and I would be working 50 hour weeks again in a millisecond.
I am a all or nothing kind of girl. So it's nothing for me. Until, you know school comes around in four years :)
How long this will last? I am not entirely sure. I know I need to do something. My brain needs exercising daily or I get bored and danger approaches when that happens. Study? maybe. Professional online shopper? quite possibly :)
I have watched Peggy over at Cake Crumbs Beach Sand, over the last few months evolve. My god did she inspire. To do what you may ask? LEAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hold a big arse breath and just leap.
I am confident we will be perfectly fine and I will fall into something that works. For this control freak that was a lot to let go. I have.

So my friends, be confident in yourself and just .......

Monday, 18 June 2012

Make Or Buy - Last Minute Costumes

Monday morning school run, teacher announces TOMORROW is Early Settler Day, costume dress is required!!!
I know WTF!!!
My mind immediately starts working overtime. What's in the wardrobes, dress up box or material in sewing room?
Time and cash poor, I remember I have striped material. Buying a outfit would require wrangling a cranky baby and ATM action, none of which interest me AT .ALL. EVER.
So for the last hour I have winged a convict outfit.
Knowing my eldest measurements is handy. So I've run up a quick shirt type piece and used her PJ bottoms a guide for the bottom half. Bit of dark makeup smudged around we will be good to go.

If you do have time I thoroughly recommend the below pattern. I use this one for all the family for PJ pants, play pants and shorten it for shorts as well. Super versatile!!

So what do you do when last minute costumes are needed? Are you a winger or rush buy?
Oh yeah and happy freaking Monday to that!!

Thursday, 7 June 2012

Mum Did A Bad Bad Thing

I've done the worst thing I think I can possibly do.

I compared

I compared my beautiful 9 month old baby with another and it was horrid and sent me in a tail spin and had me in tears. I brought the entire emotional meltdown on myself.

It was like a normal week. This week, however, when I went to pick up my other daughter from Karate as I do on a Wednesday evening, I wore my Uggs. Now I never normally wear them out in public but to my defense it was frigging cold and I rarely get out of the car on pick up. Of course this would be the one night Sensei wanted to speak to me. A million things ran through my head, as we have not been having the best time at the moment with my 9 year old. Attitude smatitude. She could give Pink a run for her money and have her crying in the fetal position within the hour.
So as I trudged up the pathway, quietly breaking into a cold sweat. this little boy comes tumbling over. That "I've just learnt to walk " move. You know the one. Where they start out slow and careful and then get a wind of confidence and get a run up. Grins up at me with FIVE teeth and says "ello". I nearly died of his cuteness of jeans and flannie shirt.

Then Sensei wonders over. "Sorry about that, he gets a bit cocky sometimes"
Me "Awww he's adorable how old is he?"
Sensei " 9 MONTHS"

Well the conversation that followed about something to do with tournaments and some ungodly fee that is required and new belts blah blah blah.

All my mind was thinking....9 Fucking Months. He has teeth, says more than Dadda and can walk.

My cheeky chops A has no teeth, has one word "dadda" and bum drags herself everywhere.

I came through the door fully expecting Miss A to be asleep, as I had left her, but no there she was sitting in the lounge room playing with Daddy. WTF I think, why is she not in bed and why is she playing. Daddy explains that she woke up full of beans so he decided to let her play for awhile.

That pushed me to edge. I silently went into the bathroom, in the dark and had a shower. A long long shower, crying silent tears into the water.

What the fuck was wrong with me. Miss A is perfect. A happy healthy bundle of typhoon. I don't even notice her birthmark on her face anymore until someone mentions it. Why was I comparing? What the hell did I think I was doing? The only explanation I have is the next morning I woke up surfing the crimson wave.

So Miss A, Mummy is very sorry she ever doubted your ability to be anything but awesome in your own way xx

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