Monday, 2 January 2012

52 Weeks To Simplify Your Life - Week 1

I have a lot of hesitation on embarking on this journey as I am fairly sure Deb Home Life Simplified - 52 Week Challenge has some major skeletons to come out of my closet. Issues that I'm not entirely sure I am ready to deal with and the heavy time restraints I am on with a newborn. What I am committed to do, is the best possible time I can give and honest answers, regardless of how hard they may be to face.
Okay so here goes.....
Week One

The Most Important Things I Am Grateful For 

Number One
There was that one minor thing you know not really major.......GIVING BIRTH!!! We welcomed our second daughter into the world at 9.08am on 2/09 and it was a more emotional moment than I had anticipated. It hit me like I couldn't breathe. I have a tumor on my uterus that is the size of a lemon and the odds of the pregnancy getting past the first trimester where slim to none. First scan - she made it through with flying colours, I however did not, I was ill, really ill. After loads of discussions and sleepless nights, we made the decision to not receive treatment nor find out the fate of my Lemon. We chose to give lil Miss the best possible chance of getting here. So I went on Maternity Leave pretty much immediately and was on bed rest straight away. Pffft to that, they don't have a eight year old running around do they. So I was up and about and paid the price. We plodded along till the second scan and it was like dejavu, the look of complete sorrow on the nurses face the "we'll just be a moment we need to get a doctor" speech. I'd heard it before I'd seen that look before....with my first daughter. Yes sure as hell, same thing second time around, your daughters heart is not beating consistently ...FUCK Let me tell you as a parent, this is where you have to dig deep, have faith in a little person who has yet to arrive in this world and put your heart and soul into believing everything will be okay. I know for a lot of parents it's not. We are the fortunate ones. We where okay. Both my girls only had problems whilst in the womb and I am beyond grateful everyday for this. When Miss A came into the world that glorious morning, it hit HARD she really did make it, I was really going to do this all again after 8 years and only then did it dawn on me that my Lemon was still sitting there staring us all in the face.
Number 2
I had subsequent testing and the tumor is not cancerous (beyond grateful) but is being watched diligently. They are not willing to operate. Sometimes when I am sleeping I wake up in a cold sweat that it's turned into a great ugly ivy and is winding itself around my spine and I can not move. I have severe lower back problems and I believe my body is trying to tell me something I'm just not sure what it is.
Number 3
What else went right with 2011?? We made a new home, one with a pool so that my beloved Miss T can swim like the dolphin she obviously was in a past life.

What I am  most GRATEFUL  for is all three of them. They are all here, healthy and happy, laughing each day like they can't stop and I love them with every part of my being xxx

7 comments :

  1. That is touching, sad, exciting and joyful all at once. I can't imagine what you went through but I love your gratitude despite the troubles. Lovely Beth.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'll be right here reading and holding your hand all the way. There is much to learn and grow this year, and I'm so glad to share it with you. xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow, what a year 2011 was for you. Extremely stressful but I am happy that your daughter is doing fine and that your tumor is not cancerous.

    My second son was born early 2011 2 months prem and it was a bit touch and go with him and I am so grateful that he is now a toddling, smiley 1 year old. It is hard to look back at what he started as but also humbling because he has come such a long way.

    Good luck with simplifying things in 2012. I wish you the very best.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Deborah Alexander10 January 2012 at 13:56

    wow, that ws some journey but gald it all turned out okay.

    ReplyDelete
  5. wow what a story, good on you for getting through all that with a positive attitude!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mummy Issues Part 212 January 2012 at 22:51

    I don't like the sound of that lemon! I'd like to tell it to bugger right off.
    What a difficult but wonderful year you had.  I am looking forward to this SYL12. Will enjoy sharing your journey with you. xx

    ReplyDelete
  7. So glad you are willing to join in Beth - take it one week at a time - part of the journey is to find your own way in life and that means being able to say i need a break from this as i have too much on with a baby or saying - i did this week's challenge but in private because i dig pretty deep and i don't feel comfortable sharing. There are no right or wrongs in this - trust me 100%.

    I hope that your body finds its way to peace and your tumour is treated some way to give you relief. Finding gratitude amongst the hard times is a wonderful way to move through life - wishing you many blessings this year lovely!

    ReplyDelete

I would love to hear from you :) Please leave a comment after the tone..............

file:///C:/Users/Betahlia/Downloads/google5eb5f22be44be949.html e3cc22ade773517278e51347667b746f743a46e3123051a96d