Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Where Do You Make Major Decisions





So I've been blog surfing tonight, to random blogs, basically playing Russian Roulette on Google Plus. I came upon this one. It gave me food for thought in a disgusting kind of way. Although it may be common practice in others homes, but not in mine and I may be the odd one out. So I thought I would put it out there in the blogosphere!
The lady was telling a story about how after much contemplation, the financial decision that they had come to that changed their lives. I didn't read past the first paragraph because she opened with when she was in the bath and her husband on the toilet.
Now  I  personally, since I can remember, do not share my bathroom experiences with anyone. Ever. I can't even bear to have a toilet door open during such functions, this applies to being home on my own as well. So the thought of having major life changing discussions with Stretch during these times does not sit well in fact freaks me out a little. Am I the prude?
I would say most of our major discussions, even meaningful conversations occur at bedtime. It's when we are both not preoccupied with other things or being interrupted constantly by the little ones.
So blogging darlings, where do you have your important discussions with your partner?

Friday, 20 January 2012

SYL12 - Week 2 - Goals & Values

Deb explains this week how goals and values are separate. This is where I differ, mine seem to intermingle like two dancing minx.
Rather than complicate matters, I decided to list some of both


Values 


  • Family
  • Honesty 
  • Respect 
I shall elaborate a little on these.
Family
It is my everything, the reason I get up in the morning and the reason I have no sleep at night ;)
I would do and have done anything for my family, my current brood to extended family, virtual family, all of them. This can be a minefield at times. I tend to throw myself with complete gusto, to hell with the consequences self at other people's problems, i.e family and neglect my own, my own personal demons. So it intermingles with goals, as I need to work on stepping back and "fixing" everybody elses shit.
My family are close, nosy interfering close, but we love each other dearly just the same.

Honesty
Now this is a trigger for me. I am honest to the point of being rude. I never lie, I never smudge things to spare someone's feelings, I just open my mouth and it all comes out. I have lost many people over the years because I didn't grease their ego enough, "does my bum look big in this" ....yes it looks fucking huge get it off (in a french accent) I have learnt in new or public situations to just walk away,  the school moments where I could really let rip at the teacher or fellow parents over some truly astonishing bullshit statement. So those I do have around me now are those who know and understand my honesty, because underneath the quick wit and vulgar mouth is someone who will always stand by you and be there through thick and thin.
I expect honesty in others,  when I find out someone has lied or hasn't been completely honest, I'm disappointed and never really look at that person the same way.

Respect
In my previous life, I was a State Manager in a WW company in a male dominated industry. I worked hard, incredibly hard to get that position, to gain the respect of my mostly male peers, to be taken seriously. Respect is just not given because you have a position or in normal life because you are a mother or an elder etc. Respect to ME is earned. Only time can you earn such respect or high regard.
I can respect a person not a position. I know as a child you are tutored that you must respect your elders, but why? What have they done to you personally other than live longer to earn your respect? I teach my kids, to be mindful of their elders. Which to me is more about manners than respect.  Good manners and respect are two different things.

Goals 


To be more respectful, to whom you may ask? My partner, I do not give him anywhere near enough credit for his own decision making ability. I just assume that I will know better when it comes to parenting because I have done it all before, this is wrong of me, so very wrong and I have stopped myself three times this week alone, in correcting something he was doing with the girls, to just sit back and let it be. More respectful of others opinions, I do not know everything nor am I right on everything, this will always be a work in progress. I embrace healthy debate and am learning everyday new things because I am working on listening to others opinions and thoughts on topics. Blogs have done wonders for this, to sit and read others and think to myself "ohhh I never thought of it like that" is a light bulb moment and I am relishing this broadening of my mind.

To be more honest with myself in regards to my health. I am not well I know I'm not well but keep busying myself with other things so not to deal with it. This is of great importance and the reality is, must be put first on my goal list.

Learning to walk away from others people's issues. This is a HUGE one. Immediately someone shares a problem with me, I have this inane urge to fix it. FIX IT ALL....IMMEDIATELY and when truth be told I can not, I don't have the foresight, the funds, the time, so I've set myself up for disappointment to begin with. Listen, listen until the other person is tired of talking, until they feel better for just having shared, learn to just listen BETH and not DO.

This challenge alone is an eye opener, to deal with issues that you know are at the back of your mind , to deal with them head on, week by week slowly but surely

EFFING  cheaper than therapy this is :)

Thursday, 12 January 2012

Talk To Me About Hair Colouring

Ladies come talk to me about at home hair colouring.....

Gasp!!! My hairdresser has moved to over 2 hours drive away and I am in desperate need of a hair colour. I am just not ready to sport the grey nomad look. Hunting a new hairdresser who knows my hair and understands it's complexities is just not an option at the moment....sooooo

What brands do you use?? What is your favourite colour?
Some colours I am loving sick right now


And we all know that I would totally look like this if I had these colours....right? 

Monday, 9 January 2012

Important Message For Sixteen Year Old Me

Yep I was one of those sun worshipers, to the point of smothering myself in oil and baking in the sun, cause having a tan was so important and cool and hip and all those things, older me knows better. But what could you have told me at 16 to change this.....absolutely nothing....had you sat me down and watched this.....everything


Tuesday, 3 January 2012

Liebster Award

A huge thank you to Laura over at Spotty Owl Design , who awarded my mini lil blog this prestigious Emmy equaling Award :) Liebster is German for dearest.....awww, for inspirational blogs with under 200 followers. What a gorgeous chickadee she is!!!! 
I'd like to thank ...... hehehe I won't start because we know I waffle far too much as it is. 
Before I carry on with anything else, thank you for all your comments that are coming into my inbox on my 52 week challenge post for some reason they won't post. I love you all and your support xxx Big love to Shelley My Shoebox Life  who's the bestest hand holder ever!!!! 

Now the rules receiving this award are 

1. Copy and paste the award on your blog.

2. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it you.

3. Choose five blogs to pass the award on to and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

4. Hope that people you have sent the award to forward it on to their favourite bloggers.

I'm struggling with this as I'm not entirely sure who has got it before and who hasn't but getting it again has to be a compliment right??

1. Shelley @  My Shoebox Life
2. Jody @ Lemon Rhodes
4. Ally @ Everyday Miracles
5. Kate @ Our Little Sins

Monday, 2 January 2012

52 Weeks To Simplify Your Life - Week 1

I have a lot of hesitation on embarking on this journey as I am fairly sure Deb Home Life Simplified - 52 Week Challenge has some major skeletons to come out of my closet. Issues that I'm not entirely sure I am ready to deal with and the heavy time restraints I am on with a newborn. What I am committed to do, is the best possible time I can give and honest answers, regardless of how hard they may be to face.
Okay so here goes.....
Week One

The Most Important Things I Am Grateful For 

Number One
There was that one minor thing you know not really major.......GIVING BIRTH!!! We welcomed our second daughter into the world at 9.08am on 2/09 and it was a more emotional moment than I had anticipated. It hit me like I couldn't breathe. I have a tumor on my uterus that is the size of a lemon and the odds of the pregnancy getting past the first trimester where slim to none. First scan - she made it through with flying colours, I however did not, I was ill, really ill. After loads of discussions and sleepless nights, we made the decision to not receive treatment nor find out the fate of my Lemon. We chose to give lil Miss the best possible chance of getting here. So I went on Maternity Leave pretty much immediately and was on bed rest straight away. Pffft to that, they don't have a eight year old running around do they. So I was up and about and paid the price. We plodded along till the second scan and it was like dejavu, the look of complete sorrow on the nurses face the "we'll just be a moment we need to get a doctor" speech. I'd heard it before I'd seen that look before....with my first daughter. Yes sure as hell, same thing second time around, your daughters heart is not beating consistently ...FUCK Let me tell you as a parent, this is where you have to dig deep, have faith in a little person who has yet to arrive in this world and put your heart and soul into believing everything will be okay. I know for a lot of parents it's not. We are the fortunate ones. We where okay. Both my girls only had problems whilst in the womb and I am beyond grateful everyday for this. When Miss A came into the world that glorious morning, it hit HARD she really did make it, I was really going to do this all again after 8 years and only then did it dawn on me that my Lemon was still sitting there staring us all in the face.
Number 2
I had subsequent testing and the tumor is not cancerous (beyond grateful) but is being watched diligently. They are not willing to operate. Sometimes when I am sleeping I wake up in a cold sweat that it's turned into a great ugly ivy and is winding itself around my spine and I can not move. I have severe lower back problems and I believe my body is trying to tell me something I'm just not sure what it is.
Number 3
What else went right with 2011?? We made a new home, one with a pool so that my beloved Miss T can swim like the dolphin she obviously was in a past life.

What I am  most GRATEFUL  for is all three of them. They are all here, healthy and happy, laughing each day like they can't stop and I love them with every part of my being xxx
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